One of the worst parts about anxiety is how quickly it makes you feel worthless.
I have suffered from anxiety for most of my life. I have fears some of which are rational others are totally irrational. To the outside world I am fine, because I am functioning and don’t complain about how I am feeling then everything must be ok.
I woke up in the night feeling uneasy, I sometimes go through these fazes. I have been told by my line manager that due to numbers at the college where I work I probably won’t be needed in September. This has been quite a shock, especially the way in which I was told and the manner used. I am now worrying about what I will do next year for work.
I have been looking for jobs in my field of teaching, but they are rare. I have email alerts to tell me when anything comes along.
To be pro active and to increase my chances of employment I have a meeting with regard to enrolling on an MA in Curatorial Practice. If I just sit down and let the worry overtake me it will take longer to recover. Even if I don’t enrol on the course at least I am trying.
I still have pangs of intense worry throughout the day and yesterday had the first panic attack for a while, but no one can accuse me of letting anxiety rule my life.